Today’s Mother’s Day Post was inspired by
iMOM’s Expresso Minute “
9 Ways to Be a Better Mom”
On the heels of becoming a mom to a 17 month old and a newborn within 2 months of each other (
yes, I am one of the ones that decides to adopts and then gets pregnant – long story), I was freed from bedtime duty and I decided to spend my time at Barnes & Noble with a Starbucks to leisurely wander the aisles in the peacefulness only found among books. I ended up in the parenting section…of course. A title caught my eye - ”I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids". It jumped out at me I think because it was exactly how I felt. I forever wanted to be a mom, I loved kids, & kids loved me but there is nothing that shakes your confidence more than being a mom. With only 2 months of mommyhood under my belt, I was floored at how much I worried, felt guilty & questioned my abilities. Before kids, I used to look at the covers of magazines with the adorable cupcakes and crafts on the cover and think I couldn’t wait to one day make those with my children…now I look at them and think “yeah, right!” - which then makes me feel guilty! I do more by 9am than most people do all day but why do I feel like I get nothing done? I feel incompetent. I once was talking to an acquantaince and she shared that at least once a week, she felt like a bad mom…I said “Really!?! Only once a week!?! I feel like a bad mom just about every day - You are doing pretty good then!” We laughed…or maybe we cried, I am too tired to remember. It’s so hard
NOT to be so hard on ourselves…we do have the most important job there is and that’s a lot of pressure. One way I started feeling better about the pressure was joining a mom’s club. FINALLY, a place where I could complain without judgement, ask for advice, share my advice and laugh or cry at the craziness of the day. I also finally knew I wasn’t alone in my “sometimes-I-want-to-run-screaming-from-my-house” feelings and it was OK to feel that way. In my heart-of-hearts I know I am a “good mom” despite the fact that I don’t make magazine cover-worthy cupcakes (
true confession – I don’t like baking with my kids –ah! THE GUILT!), I don’t make the fun bento box lunches (
although they are packed with just as much care) and at bedtime I loose my patience (
but I am always up for one more monkey hug). I love my kids. You love yours. And that is enough to make us good moms. Happy Mother’s Day!
